back 2 the street where we began...

disclaimer: i'm going to get all Pete Wentz on u and gush about Panic and Barack.

i've been on the Obama-Clinton fence for several months, after an initial lean to Edwards as the closest to progressive candidate. it was Caroline's column that has pushed me off the fence and firmly to Obama. my interest in politics began with reading a JFK biography in 2nd grade. in 1983 i wrote a letter to Ted saying i was disappointed that he wasn't entering the 1984 race. a high point of my childhood was receiving a response from him. i went to college in Boston because of the Kennedys. i interned in Joe Kennedy's Boston office. i met Caroline at a book signing for the Patriot's Handbook and i was more starstruck than when I met Wendy, Lisa, or Prince. color me swayed.





find Nine in the Afternoon and listen to it NOW. it is a slice of billowy wonder beauty. hanging with my Guilty Pleasure comrades listening to it on repeat for, oh, over 3 hours the day it was released, i told them it is to the songs on A Fever You Can't Sweat Out as Raspberry Beret was to the songs on Purple Rain -- purely brilliant pop confection inspired by or at least owing a debt to the boys from Liverpool.

my repeat action followed me from the compound to the office. i now submit Exhibit A, details on the Top Ten most played tracks in my itunes:

1. Purple Rain Live	Prince And The Revolution	Atlanta '85	302
2. Let's Say	Girl Bros.	Girl Bros.	260
3. Erotica	Madonna	Confessions Tour Studio	234
4. Nine in the Afternoon	Panic at the Disco	Pretty. Odd.	179
5. Love... Thy Will Be Done	Martika	Martika's Kitchen	176
6. A Place In Heaven	Prince And The Revolution	Dream Factory Remastered	169
7. Love Song	Madonna and Prince!!!!!	Like A Prayer	162
8. Hands Clean	Alanis Morissette	Under Rug Swept	143
9. Future Lover	Madonna	Confessions On A Dance Floor	128
10. All My Dreams	Prince And The Revolution	Dream Factory Remastered	125

okay, so clearly, we're entering hallowed ground. i first noticed where it was at about 147 plays, when it was creeping up on Love song. i reported myself 2 S, and she replied, "just accept it. u already changed your wallpaper." and she's right. but the thing is, i've been on this machine for 2 years. my Top Ten, hell, my Top 25, is a finely crafted achievement meant to illustrate my musical leanings, my affections, my heart, my soul. and in 2 days, Panic is knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door! granted, that particular version of Purple Rain is 18 minutes +, so in actual listening time it'll be in the lead 4 a long while. but then again Pretty. Odd. doesn't come out until March. whaddamigonnalissen2?

did i mention i also got tix to opening night of the Honda civic tour at the Warfield in s.f.? that's right. poppin the panic cherry in April! don't u wanna come?

i need a c-o-o-l r-i-d-e-r

u know that parlor trick of reciting movie lines and making people guess what movie it's from? well, i hate that fucking game. i suck at it. i love movies, but my brain doesn't capture like that. song lyrics, yes, movie lines, no. UNLESS is is from one of the following: Purple Rain, Truth or Dare, Somewhere in Time, or Grease 2. those are the only movies i've watched ad nauseam, a requirement for me to quote.

anyway, this is what totally on my mind. Grease 2 is Grease, in reverse, with campy badness. i totally love it. this time, the exchange student is a boy, hunky Maxwell Caulfield, (Sandy's British cousin) who falls for bad girl Pink Lady leader Stefanie Zinnoni (Michelle Pfeiffer in her first lead role), who just broke up with bad boy T-Birds leader Johnnie Nogarelli (Adrian Zmed). okay --this is the part i was getting to -- Stefanie broke up with Johnnie over the summer, before the movie started. and though he's now macking on Paulette Rubecheck (Lorna Luft, the best 35-year-old high school student ever cast!), he won't accept that Stefanie broke up with him. she keeps telling him, the whole movie long, and he doesn't get it. he's pretty, and slow like that. and i keep thinking about that. how he just doesn't get it. funny. or weird. not weird weird, but weird.

can i get some more ketchup?

u push me

Every difficult situation is sent our way to help us to grow. Too bad we push the uncomfortable away.

Let's say you're in severe financial difficulty. God comes to you and says he/she will give you a million dollars every time someone hurts you or angers you -- provided you completely let go of any reactive feelings. Simply put, you cannot take anything personally. You have to let it go!

What would be on your mind all day? You'd be praying for God to send you people to hurt you. You'd wake up every morning searching out all the difficult relationships and offensive people!

The fact is, when you live your life with this in mind, you receive something more valuable than a million dollars. You receive the Light, which already includes financial sustenance, rejuvenation, well-being, happiness, and peace of mind.

Today, embrace the uncomfortable. Look for the silver dollar in every dark cloud.

turn me inside out

guess i left u shell shocked, baby
didn't mean 2 cry so hard
u were minding ur own business
u said 'not in my back yard!'

turn me inside out, what's inside of u?
turn me inside out, and i am u
turn me inside out, what's inside of u?
turn me inside out
and i am u

trying to get through 2 u, baby
working on a sunken mind
all 4 one and none 4 all maybe
brother, can u spare a dime?

turn me inside out, what's inside of u?
turn me inside out, and i am u
turn me inside out, what's inside of u?
turn me inside out
and i am u

guess i should have thought first, but i
guess i have no sense at all
can u get 2 heaven faster
if u build a higher wall?

4 all of u who talk but don't do
u have used up ur last i.o.u.
i am telling u because i am through
i get nothing 4 loving u

turn me inside out, what's inside of u
(come on in) and i am u
(i dare u) what's inside of u (yeah!)
turn me inside out, and i am u

now turn me inside out, what's inside of u
turn me inside out, and i am u
turn me inside out, what's inside of u
turn me inside out, and i am u

4 all of u who talk but don't do
u have used ur last i.o.u.
i am telling u because i am through
i get nothing 4 loving u
loving u
loving u

as sure as the candle burns

"What does Kabbalah say about depression?"

Depression is merely a lack of Light. If you walk into a dark room, you don't complain and worry about all the darkness. You simply flip on a light switch and the darkness vanishes. Sharing with people is our light switch.

YES, IT IS THAT SIMPLE!

Today, go out and share. Help someone who is in a worse situation than you. Find someone who is hurting more than you. When you share, you draw Light into your soul. And Light removes all the darkness and depression that you feel.

doubts of our conviction

Doubt creeps in the moment we lose our focus on our original intention.

Think of it in terms of relationships. You could be so happy, you're with your soul mate, life is wonderful. Hugs and kisses, xoxo, and all that. Then she does something you don't like and you forget. You forget how she helps you through the darkness. You forget how she loves you even when you don't love yourself. You forget. And then doubt creeps in. One moment you have all the reasons to be in the relationship, the next you find all the reasons not to be.

It's all about doubt. Why? Because you forget why you were in the relationship in the first place.

Today is your chance to remember. Remind yourself of what you receive from your significant relationships. Connect to the seed of goodness and cast out the doubt.

maybe u're just like my father

A President Like My Father
By CAROLINE KENNEDY

OVER the years, I’ve been deeply moved by the people who’ve told me they wished they could feel inspired and hopeful about America the way people did when my father was president. This sense is even more profound today. That is why I am supporting a presidential candidate in the Democratic primaries, Barack Obama.

My reasons are patriotic, political and personal, and the three are intertwined. All my life, people have told me that my father changed their lives, that they got involved in public service or politics because he asked them to. And the generation he inspired has passed that spirit on to its children. I meet young people who were born long after John F. Kennedy was president, yet who ask me how to live out his ideals.

Sometimes it takes a while to recognize that someone has a special ability to get us to believe in ourselves, to tie that belief to our highest ideals and imagine that together we can do great things. In those rare moments, when such a person comes along, we need to put aside our plans and reach for what we know is possible.

We have that kind of opportunity with Senator Obama. It isn’t that the other candidates are not experienced or knowledgeable. But this year, that may not be enough. We need a change in the leadership of this country — just as we did in 1960.

Most of us would prefer to base our voting decision on policy differences. However, the candidates’ goals are similar. They have all laid out detailed plans on everything from strengthening our middle class to investing in early childhood education. So qualities of leadership, character and judgment play a larger role than usual.

Senator Obama has demonstrated these qualities throughout his more than two decades of public service, not just in the United States Senate but in Illinois, where he helped turn around struggling communities, taught constitutional law and was an elected state official for eight years. And Senator Obama is showing the same qualities today. He has built a movement that is changing the face of politics in this country, and he has demonstrated a special gift for inspiring young people — known for a willingness to volunteer, but an aversion to politics — to become engaged in the political process.

I have spent the past five years working in the New York City public schools and have three teenage children of my own. There is a generation coming of age that is hopeful, hard-working, innovative and imaginative. But too many of them are also hopeless, defeated and disengaged. As parents, we have a responsibility to help our children to believe in themselves and in their power to shape their future. Senator Obama is inspiring my children, my parents’ grandchildren, with that sense of possibility.

Senator Obama is running a dignified and honest campaign. He has spoken eloquently about the role of faith in his life, and opened a window into his character in two compelling books. And when it comes to judgment, Barack Obama made the right call on the most important issue of our time by opposing the war in Iraq from the beginning.

I want a president who understands that his responsibility is to articulate a vision and encourage others to achieve it; who holds himself, and those around him, to the highest ethical standards; who appeals to the hopes of those who still believe in the American Dream, and those around the world who still believe in the American ideal; and who can lift our spirits, and make us believe again that our country needs every one of us to get involved.

I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them. But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who could be that president — not just for me, but for a new generation of Americans.

Caroline Kennedy is the author of “A Patriot’s Handbook: Songs, Poems, Stories and Speeches Celebrating the Land We Love.”