things are shaping up 2 be pretty odd.

what if Madonna was inducted into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame and I didn't even know the ceremony had already happened?

what if a friend got a copy of the new Madonna single before it was released, and I told him I'd listen to it as soon as the Panic song that was playing ended?

what if a couple of weeks after the RRHoF ceremony it re-aired on VH1 and I still didn't see it?

well, those aren't really "what ifs", but my current reality. yes, Panic at the Disco has captured me in a way that I haven't been captured since, well, since Madonna started splitting my attention from Prince in 1990. it's been soooo long, but I must say the ride is AMAZING.

I have much more to say about them and the brilliance of Pretty. Odd., but for shorthand, dig if u will this picture: take psychedelic-era Beatles (very Across the Universe-ish), add some Around the World in a Day/Parade era Prince (i.e. Revolution, i.e. Wendy & Lisa influence), a dose of Stephen Sondheim and just a dash of (no, not formaldehyde!) Rent, e viola:

don't look back because life is short

A student wrote to me this week, "for the last two months I've been restricting in this one area of my life. But I'm still not seeing any changes."

While restriction is a great start, the student is forgetting to throw away the calculations. When we sit and wait for the result, it will never come.

A student goes to his teacher and says, "Teacher, no one loves me." The teacher says, "run away from love and love will run after you." Easy enough. Two weeks later the student returns and says, "it's not working. I'm running but it's not running after me." The teacher says, "you are running, but you keep looking over your shoulder to see how far back it is."

Today, don't look back, don't look ahead. Just look at the spiritual task in front of you. Submit to the process and let go of the need for results. As my mother and teacher Karen Berg says, " don't chase love. If you busy yourself with helping others, love will come, like a butterfly, and sit lightly on your shoulder. "

things have changed for me...

holy shit I'm so behind over here! eek! much ado:

2 weeks as a dog owner is changing my schedule immensely. I'm waking earlier and being much more active. Always on the run, I swear.

Had a great weekend with my bro and sis in town.

Spazzing over Pretty. Odd., which leaked on MTV. All I was hoping for and oh so much more. More on that, for reals. Stay tuned.

Court hearing in the morning to finally put a fork in it.

Work shit just out of control ridic. Some fucking people. That's all I can say. For now.

Official plantar fasciitis diagnosis from the podiatrist Dr. McDreamy recommended. I love how EVERY doctor he recommends is a Hot Gay Doctor. Really. Really, I love it, and really, they're all hot gay doctors.

OH YES. FINALLY actually writing the short that's been in my head. Thumbs up, bitches!

got til it's gone

today's kabbalah daily tune-up from Yehuda Berg, one i know and understand well. when the appreciation ends, it's time 2 move on...

Tuesday, March 18

My brother Michael was addressing students here in Los Angeles last weekend about the importance of appreciation. He repeated something my father taught us growing up: the moment appreciation is lost, the relationship is lost.

I spoke about appreciation in Sunday's daily but it's especially relevant now, when the energy of doubts is at its strongest. The lesson to remember is:

our connection to others, ourselves, and ultimately to the Light of the Creator, begins and ends with appreciation.

This is something you know. I simply wish to remind you of the utter importance of constantly fighting for appreciation. And make no mistake, it's a fight. A battle. A war. It's easy to erupt in anger and indignation but far more difficult to fight the internal battle against ego [jealousy, insecurity, resentment, doubt, and you can fill in the rest.]

Who are the people in your life whom you've begun to take for granted? The best way to get that thankful recognition back is to imagine what life would be like without them.

whenever i was in need of a friend

i'm really glad we've found the space 2 reconnect.

strange but true

U may have lost me, but i found myself
the ones who love me without condition - this is my wealth
and with these words i will win
repeat them over and over again
all understand and all stand under this affirmation now:
By the power invested in me by God
all negativity bows
all negativity bows
all negativity bows
strange but true, let's see what U can do

i am a dog outside ur door...

I became a father on Saturday, March 1, 2008 when I adopted Molly. She has been re-christened Roxanne Hermione Reading and is happily responding to "Reading", pronounced "redding". My new obsession with Panic at the Disco began with a love for a live show recored this past summer at the Reading festival. The show begins with Brendon saying/screaming, "We're Panic at the Disco, WHAT'S UP READING?????" As my infatuation grew, I started imitating his delivery of the "Reading" line, and it became a mantra of the recent Vegas road trip. The show also includes a segue from their song Camisado into the Police's Roxanne. Hearing that was a part of me realizing that Panic was more than just a flavor of the month. And Hermione was Reading's original name. I've been itching to get a dog since Heath passed away last year. When I moved in December, I was finally in a place where I could have a dog. I've been looking for Labs/Lab mixes ever since. And Reading is great!!! Love her and can't wait for you all to meet her! I'm sure she'll be a frequent part of these pages.

sowing the seeds of love

Yehuda Berg's daily Kabbalah Tune-ups:

Sunday, March 2

Today, I've got some questions to ask yourself. Only you have the answers.

What do you really want in life?

What's limiting you?

How do you prevent yourself from expanding and enjoying a bigger purpose?

How do you prevent yourself from receiving more?

It's time to expand your capacity to receive more fulfillment, to have a lot more happiness, more excitement, more meaning, a job that gives you satisfaction, not just work that pays the bills, and a relationship where you feel totally on the same page with your partner.

Sort yourself out today. Spend some time thinking about the questions I posed, and even take out a notebook and think on the paper. Make sure the desire you have to change is not only well-intentioned but also translates into effort and action. In that way, you're guaranteed to experience dramatic shifts in your life.

Monday, March 3

Did you read - and answer - yesterday's daily questions?

Michelangelo, who also studied Kabbalah, was once asked where he found the exquisite man who modeled for his sculpture of David. He answered, "I didn't have a model. I had no muse. I simply chipped away the excess rock and revealed what the Creator had already provided."

Start chipping away.

We all have the ability to manifest incredible happiness. We each arrive here with a magnificent soul, but our soul at present is covered with the dust and dirt of layers of negativity that we have accumulated.

By spending time today thinking about — and writing answers to — yesterday's questions, you will chip away until you remove all of your limitations and reveal your true potential.

this is just the prologue

the problem with living life at the speed of the internet is the sense that what isn't documented is lost, and worse, what isn't documented immediately isn't worth documenting at all. well, this post is a big "fuck u" to that notion. February was a great month for me, the best I've had in a long time and the busiest, too. And I was sick for a good two weeks of it as well. Arrrgh. Anyway, I took off a few days at the beginning of the month as comp time for being onsite over a couple of weekends while the office was painted. It was great to get a good break without using vacation time. And better to have a chunk of time off without going out of town or doing too much.

I'm gonna write more, but just to get some of it out:

Org Invasion

My new phone

My first Panic at the Disco experience

Road trip to Vegas for Cobra Starship

only fools and kings

i wonder if he knows he's a rebound.
i wonder if u know he's a rebound.
i wonder why i care.

the funny thing is that i loved u and love is truly blind. i didn’t mean a lot. love was so unkind, 4 they say only fools believe in what they cannot see. sometimes it takes a heartache 2 open up your eyes.
Wendy & Lisa, from Always in My Dreams

U can eat what U want, anything is cool in moderation

i wouldn't beg U
instead of playing deduction of what 2 do
they called me rude often
when i called their hand
they judged me and told me that we're through
"y can't U be like the others?"
i cried out over and again
"y can't U learn 2 play by the rules?"
but maybe at last it's the end
because i am not like others
i'm unique in the respect i'm not U

i know in my heart i would try 2 love U
i wouldn't try 2 hurt U despite all the ways U hurt me
u call me a fraud, an uncaring wretch
but I'm a (mad) artist and my only aim is 2 please
between U and yours, myself and mine
isn't life cruel enough without cruel words, cruel words?
u see, words are like shoes
they're just something 2 stand on
i wish U could be in my shoes...
what would life be if we believed what we read
and a smile is just hiding a frown?
come now, isn't life a little better with a pair of good shoes?

by Prince and the Revolution, from Hello