Sunday, September 28, 2008

It's been 7 hours and 13 days

As of today I haven't had any alcohol or coffee for two weeks. Wow. It's an impromptu cleanse that was borne out of being sick, and then stuck. Not sure how long it'll be around, but right now I'm just rolling with it.

Friday, September 26, 2008

queriendo, necesitando, esperando

One of the earliest tattoos I thought about getting was this:

poor is the man
whose pleasures depend
on the permission of another

It was going to be in courier, left justified on my left shoulder blade, just the way it popped up in the closing frames of the "Justify My Love" video. As I have added more tattoos and started thinking about other pieces to come, this one fell off the plate when I started thinking about a larger piece on my back. In fact, I had forgotten the idea until I was talking to someone about what I want to do on my back. Then last night, in my trip through videos Madonna subtitulados, I see this:

pobre es el hombre
cuyos placeres dependen
del permiso de otro

I kinda LOVE it! I think it's a tattoo that's now back on the plate -- but not as I originally imagined. Aside from being in Spanish, I think it will be in more of a script font and centered. Not up on my shoulder blade, either -- possibly right above my ass and below the Maverick tattoo? Hmm... decisions, decisions.

Also, last night for the first time I wondered if Madonna wrote those lines. We all know the "Ingrid-Chavez-
wrote-the-lyrics-and-gave-them-to-Lenny-Kravitz-and-Lenny-didn't-tell-Madonna" story, but Madonna does have an "additional lyrics" credit. Those are the only lines that aren't intrinsically part of the song, even though they do perfectly capture the theme of unbridled fantasy. And they do it in a way that is soooooooo Madonna, particularly Madonna of 1990, "Permission? Fuck you! I don't need to ask for no permission!"

Entiendo means I get it

Watching Almodovar movies always reminds me of a few things:

a) it's hard to casually watch a movie with subtitles, even one i've seen many many times
b) i fucking love his scores - always!!!*
c) gotdamn i want to live in Barcelona, seriously
d) i really need to be fluent en espanol
e) i want to write a script loaded with powerful women
f) Sapic (sa-peek) is a great name for a dog!

*The first score I fell in love with was from High Heels. I found the cd at a used shop in Old Town Pasadena on a visit out here in '95 or '96 (the other cd I bought that day was a collection of Pansy Division singles, including their cover of Prince's Jack U Off). Anyway, along with the score I fell in love with the song Piensa en Mi, written by renowned Spanish songwriter Agustin Lara (I might name a son Agustin, I like that name) and recorded by Luz Casal. In the movie, the visual of the song is performed by Marisa Paredes -- one of the amazingly brilliant women featured in Almodovar works. Before tonight, courtesy of my new best friend, I had never seen Luz Casal, and boy is she a heck of a lot younger than I expected! Here's the video, with clips of Luz, Marisa and co-star Victoria Abril:



oh yeah, this is what she's singing (warning: HIGH drama!):

Piensa En Mí
(Think of Me)

If you have a deep wave of pain
Think of me
If you feel like you're going to cry
Think of me

You know that I worship your divine image
Your childlike mouth
Taught me to sin

Think of me
When you kiss
And when you cry
Think also of me

If you want
Take my life away from me
I don't want it for anything
It's useless to me
Without you

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Como una oracion

Something I love to do in my head is try to translate songs into Spanish. I never get past a few simple lines because that's about the level of my Spanish speaking ability: a few simple lines. Still, it's something I do with a lot of songs, but I tend to especially try to do it to Madonna songs. Maybe because she has released a couple of her ballads in Spanish versions? I don't know. At any rate, today I somehow stumbled onto an assload of youtube clips of Madonna videos with Spanish subtitles (or subtitulado)!!! Now I can learn the actual lyrics! A few seem to be done to accommodate singing along, and others are straight up translations with no attempt to fit the tune.



La vida en un misterio
todos deben estar solos
te escucho llamar mi nombre
y me siento como en casa



damelo a mi! si!



podemos estar juntos?
realmente quiero estar contigo
ven, mirarlo conmigo
espero, espero que tu sientas lo mismo



queriendo, necesitando, esperando
por ti
para que justifiques mi amor
deseando, orando,
por ti
para que justifiques mi amor

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

remember my name!

For the past couple of weeks, Los Angeles has been sucking up all of that Hope that led me to tears back at Mile High with Barack Obama on 08/28/08. Work is going at full-crazy speed, landlords are fucking with me and my dog, the man just turned me down for another job-that-I-don't-really-want-but-it-comes-with-a-big-fat-paycheck-and-juicy-benefits, I just realized the cold I thought I've had for the last four days is my biennial bout with tonsillitis, and I live in the 4th most stressful city in the nation. It all makes me want to go scream "F-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-C-K!!!!!!!!!" at the top of my lungs in the face of anyone stupid enough to support Sarah Palin. But I come from the obedient Latino side of the fence, not the loud crazy one, so I swallow it (along with the high blood pressure, acid reflux and depression pills that make the swallowing possible).

Then tonight, I go to a screening of Fame at the cult theater as part of an AFI program. Somehow I have managed to be the only music loving homo who grew up in the 80's and never saw the movie. What? I KNOW! Anyway, it was a field trip for the commune that S found. (YAY S! YAY COMMUNE!) Unbeknownst to me, Debbie Allen was there to introduce the movie. Following the immediate standing ovation at her presence, she told us about the power of the movie, and how many performing arts schools were opened all around the world because of it. And she reminded/asked us to be a part of that circle of creativity and positivity that makes the world a better place to be in. Then the lights went down and I saw a movie I wish I would have seen 28-years-ago. I wonder if my life would have been any different if I had seen a gay teenager on screen before I was one myself. Or if I thought that following the arts was a real way to lead a life. Who knows, right? And my favorite Madonna line remains, "Absolutely no regrets." So fuck what I didn't see, know, or think then. I know what I know now, I know who I am and what I want to be when I grow up. Or at least some semblance of it -- enough to keep on keeping on! Thanks to Fame, my life feels about 1000 times better than it did when I walked through those theater doors.

...there but for the grace of God go i
i'll pretend i'm not afraid to die
if there's a heaven i will apply
I'M NOT CRAZY!
but i believe in butterflies,
dreams that die should be a big surprise
life is my favorite nursery rhyme
i'm not afraid of the big bad wolf!

from Staring at the Sun by Wendy and Lisa

Oh yeah, there's always this to be thankful for...
ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Sunday, September 14, 2008

when the deep purple falls

my first love of purple...

oh, i loved me some Donny Osmond. My cousin Michelle and I would play Donny and Marie albums and perform along with them. I -- shock here -- always wanted to sing the Marie part. That hair of his sure does remind me of my favorite gay mormon. And the cut-out that opens this clip could easily double for bden: Another Deep Purple.


Loved this song, it was also one of the albums we had. The cover was pictures of them dressed in white, in little charm frames like in the start of the video.

2008 concerts

  • Metro Station The Wiltern 7/19
  • George Michael The Forum 6/25
  • Panic at the Disco Anaheim 6/14
  • Panic at the Disco L.V. 6/13
  • Heloise & the Savior Faire 6/8
  • Mandy Moore Hotel Cafe L.A. 5/23
  • Panic at the Disco S.F. 4/11
  • Panic at the Disco S.F. 4/10
  • Panic at the Disco Jimmy Kimmel 3/25
  • Really, Really Ridiculously Good Looking Tour L.V. 2/17
  • Really, Really Ridiculously Good Looking Tour L.A. 2/16
  • Rufus Wainwright L.A. 2/12